Friday, September 3, 2010

"she makes a decision to use her gifts, to stay connected:" Writing From A Recent Participant In Victoria

There is a naked woman standing before me. speaking. She wears a pair of glasses and her skin. a mother and a speaker and a doer and a lover and a power. She is quiet and draws upon her strength. the strength of the divine. she approaches 50 as she raises her daughters.

moves through
makes us vulnerable
she makes a decision to use her gifts, to stay connected
she grounds herself. Is silent. Is whole. is alive. is beautiful.

we should all take our clothes off. be vulnerable except those of us who bleed, and bleed, and bleed, and bleed: could be messy. could be red and brown and messy.

judgement. Now there's a word. I also feel judged. as I go about my life, as I hold my lover's hand, as I speak with my mom on the phone, as I think about my family in their various states of knowing me. As I post my status on Facebook, I squirm within the boundaries of propriety and expectation.

despair, health, fixing self
insights. sharing. thinking
her will. her feelings.breaking of the spirit.

masculine energy overpowers life--an outdated paradigm

accepting the self
creating the space
what does visceral mean? re "the missing girl"
emotions, grief, pain of Christmas                                                                                                  take a drug + be happy?
feeling stuck
living what's true

my stomach churns. tears prick behind my eyes, aching to spill over, to run down my cheeks, to fall to the ground. 

No comments:

Post a Comment