Friday, September 3, 2010

"I have viewed the streets, perhaps an analog to life... as an adversary:" from Kevin, an Edmonton participant

This likely belongs on a blog of my own (that no one in particular would follow.) but i started it as a post on your facebook wall before it grew into a monster of an email.

I Had a really emotional day today. Had a late brunch with my wife and had a bout of anxiety (don't know what caused it, maybe thought related stressors, maybe high blood pressure, which I do struggle with.). Went furniture shopping after (returning student at age 33). My wife, bless her, was driving and we were turning onto a busy road where I noticed there were a couple cars stopped... An accident. I warned here to change lanes and avoid. As we slowly passed, we saw two men, the drivers of either cars, in each others faces. Though there appeared to be no damage to either cars (likely a low speed bumper kiss), these two men decide to trade profanities (asshole) and insults (learn how to fuckin drive) loud enough to be heard by passers by, then play road rage games after they disconnected.

I am reminded of the show you did, Tasha, where you brought the two balloons in, symbolizing your two children. You mentioned on your way in someone from MY community having blown their horn on you. You questioned the how and why of someone doing that. At that show, that night, I heard you and sympathized. The next day, I was on the freeway and a minivan (what a family of four would perhaps drive) wasn't efficiently merging from Sherwood park onto the highway I use. I cursed, honked, and whipped around that driver onto the freeway. It dawned on me before I passed the minivan that this could be you and that the ass you spoke have could easily have be me (metaphorically, as I wasn't in the vicinity the day prior) I could not bring myself to look at the driver as s(he) passed.

For many years now I have viewed the streets, perhaps an analog to life, in Alberta as an adversary. Buckle up and best your opponents. It is one of the components of life that I have been trying to change in the last few months. Thank you, Tasha, for helping me bring it home. We should not allow ourselves to disconnect from community simply in struggle to attain personal goals, regardless of how small (getting somewhere on time) or large ( world peace, corporate dominion).

I really hope that it was not you that day on the road, but I think I owe you (directly or as a proxy) an apology.

This started as a reply to one of your facebook posts, but turned out too long to torture our facebook followers.

Thank you for challenging me to better myself!

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