Monday, December 4, 2006

Claire is 5

My beautiful daughter is five years old today. Being her mom is the best thing that ever happened to me. There is one unproblematic area in my life: being Claire's mother. My healer Betty says that we can always find our own issues by noticing the issues we have with our kids. By this estimation, I am perfect, because I always think Claire is perfect even when she's crabby or naughty. (I am not a pushover mom, I just get that when a kid is acting out, there's always a reason. And, unlike in other areas of my life, I don't take it personally.)

I find it difficult to understand how anyone cannot believe in some kind of divinity if they are a parent. To me, Claire is so obviously a miraculous little chunk of God. By extension, so must I be--which is one reason why I keep working toward recovering awareness of that for myself.
Her joy and openness are such a source of joy for me--sometimes my only source. Her intelligence and empathy amaze me. Her observations open my own eyes. I admire her determination. I am thoroughly taken with her brightness. She is such a beaming little being. I just think she is an utterly delightful person.

Everyday, still, I can't believe that I, Tasha Diamant, messed up person, can be so lucky as to be the mother of Claire! Yes, I have heavy karma but I have also been rewarded in this life. To me our kids are such an unbelievable gift, such a path straight to God. I have loved men in my life but nothing compares to how I love my daughter. The love songs have it wrong.

I feel really lucky because I don't think mother-love or parent-love is necessarily easy. But it is for me.

1 comment:

  1. You said a mouthful. Again!

    So, risking a bit of trite, here...

    Wait! There IS a song! Okay, its hay-day, it was overplayed as any other #1, and I loved it when I was young and in love with love.~~~But in my Today-Life, it is the first and only song I've ever heard that captures the rawness of how I feel about my daughter...and being her mom.

    Listen to Jann Arden's (w/ Sarah McLaughlan)remake of her debut hit "I Would Die For You". Set in the context of 'our children' - a whole 'nother kind of very cool love song.


    Best to you,